my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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