I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
