You're so nebulous sometimes
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
