i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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