so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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