soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We need to get me chipped asap
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
