I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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