Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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