all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
