i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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