just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You are a genius and a whore.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
