After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
