Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
COCAINE IS GR8
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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