I love black thongs
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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