I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
