is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
