No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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