Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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