I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
