My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
