the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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