I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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