I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
