Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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