so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
