the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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