Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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