There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
