if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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