He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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