You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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