words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
