Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
