I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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