No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
