Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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