Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
