just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
