I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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