Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
