I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
