remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
