Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
now i know why i became what i already was.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
