I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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