Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone came in the potted fern
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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