A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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