How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize