Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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