And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
