i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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