Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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