So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sobbing to NWA
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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