She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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