Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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