Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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