I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
