She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
