It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
