I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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