did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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