i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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