is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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