I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
These tits shall not be calmed
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
