I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
