I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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