why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
