he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize