There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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