Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
