No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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