Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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